Helpless newbie with s/hand virus rack classic

[Oordvark]

My access looks terrific with all its lights on, a reference to "4 a124Cathedral" in the window, LFO1/INPUT L light flashing both regularly and frantically, LF02/INPUT R slowly, and sinusoidally, glowing, the SINGLE button selected and lit (as it says on the first page of the manual), all four lights by the knobs on. I've double checked my audio connections, currently on OUT 1, and tried them on my EMU Proteus where they work fine, and with my Beyerdynamic headphones in the headphone socket of the Access and the Emu. Zilch. Not even the faintest whisper on either audio or headphones. I thought I'd try reinstalling the factory set, but its late now and my head's spinning. Would any of you kind people have a clue as to what is happening? I'm hoping its something daft which will give you all a knowing chuckle